Dirty Work

Last night I dreamt I was following around a beautiful woman, and we snuck into an apartment floating in the sky. She stripped naked, and I was really excited, until suddenly she started setting fire to the apartment, and I was scared and confused. We fled, and I saw my friend Betsy there. Later my roommate Nick and I had a man held hostage, and we had to kill him. We hemmed and hawed, starting to strangle him and then stopping, thinking that maybe we could let him go and it would be okay. Then Nick tossed me a towel and said, "It's time." And he started to smother the man with his own towel, and I had to hold his feet down with my towel. The man was bleeding everywhere. And then I woke up.

Class Project

Last night I dreamt I was back in public school, and I had been tasked with organizing some papers at the back of the room. All of a sudden I felt my bowels clench up, and I knew I was about to be sick. I tried to think of how I could surreptitiously sneak off to the bathroom when my bowels let go and I shit myself. I was wearing shorts and everyone noticed instantly. My best friend Jimmy was there and mocked me horribly. I knew that no one would ever forget this, and I would always be ridiculed for it. I got out of the classroom and saw one of the kids who had been making fun of me. I smacked him in the face and his head slammed into the wall. I felt instant remorse and apologized. "I'm sorry. I was really angry at you, but I shouldn't have done that." And then I woke up.

Young Men with Knives

Last night I dreamt I was at the New Beverly theatre watching "Goodfellas." I could barely stay awake in the movie, and at one point I even laid down across several seats. After moving to the front row, I was startled by a loud commotion behind me, someone claiming that this kid had just tried to cut his ankle with a knife. As I looked back to see what was going on, I felt a sharp pain my ankle, and I looked down to see a kid no more than eight years old slicing at the back of my ankle with a knife. I grabbed him and pinned his arms behind him and drug him outside. "WHAT WERE YOU DOING? WERE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?" I screamed. "Yes," he replied. I called the police, but they never came, and in my dream I fell asleep and woke up in my bed, knowing that the boy and his three knife-wielding friends were gone, but still out there. And then I woke up.

Memorial Video

Last night I dreamt that the twin brother of one of my close friends died. My friend emailed me and asked if I would be willing to make a tribute video for his brother's memorial service. I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't respond, and this angered my friend. He then sent out a mass email to all of our friends, asking for someone who "really cared" about him and his brother to volunteer to make this video. I wanted to be there for my friend, but I was paralyzed from doing anything. And then I woke up.

House Guest

Last night I dreamt that I was visiting a girl that I loved who didn't love me back. I was staying in the guest room, and in the morning when she came to wake me up, she kissed me softly on the lips to wake me up. Waking up into this kiss, I kissed her back, and we exchanged kisses for a few moments. Then I tried to pull her into bed with me, and she drew away. "I cant," she said. "Why do you always have to ruin things like this?" she said. And she left.

And then I woke up.

Ruined Cake

Last night I dreamt I was to prepare a cake for a large party of my friends and colleagues. Except instead of making a delightful cake, I made one with the horrifying visage of a man. Realizing my mistake, I decided to smash the cake with my fists, deciding it was better to be seen by people as someone so incompetent that he could not even make a decent cake, rather being seen as a person who would make a cake with such frightening imagery. And then I woke up.

Death Before Dishonor

Last night I dreamt that I was in a military plane surrounded by my squadron. We were going to crash-land right in the heart of enemy territory, and we knew that we were instantly going to be captured and tortured for information. Rather than face that grim prospect, we decided to choose death. We had only one pistol remaining with ammunition, and there were not enough bullets for all of us. A very Michelle Rodriguez-type Marine volunteered to be the one survivor.

We passed the gun around, each person taking it out of the hands of the person who had just used it. As I picked up the gun, I noted how small the hole in the barrel looked. I pressed the barrel to my chin and pulled the trigger. I felt the bullet travel up through my head and into my brain and then...there was nothing. Except it wasn't really nothing, because I was thinking, "There is nothing." "Is this what death is?" I thought. Then I realized: "No, it's not. Because this is a dream." And then I woke up.